My sweet baby Wesley!

The night before the ultrasound, we kept asking Philip if he wanted a brother or sister. "No Sista" is what he kept saying. When we asked him what he wanted he'd say brother or "Wessey" I am so glad that we granted his wish!

I feel like I've been walking on cloud 9 since we found out. It's the same way I felt when I found out Philip was a boy. I love him so much already. I feel like from the beginning I've already bonded with Wesley so if I would have found out it was a girl, I would have been shocked! I am so happy!!

He was quite active for the ultrasound yesterday. He was sucking his thumb, waving and practically doing somersaults. Richie was so proud. He wasn't able to come with to Philip's ultrasound because of work so this was his first experience and he loved it.

Wesley is also quite big! He's just under a pound which is big for his age. They said they may do another ultrasound in 10 weeks to check his growth. I am measuring a week ahead.

He is very healthy and very active. I think Philip is going to have some competition!

YEAH!!!

I am absolutely thrilled to announce that we are having.......




another BOY!!!!!

Big ultrasound in the morning!

I can hardly wait. I will post right away tomorrow. After I go shopping if it's a girl, of course :) I'm still thinking it's a boy, but who knows!!

Too funny not to share

While in Mexico, The Cheech asked me to rub sunscreen on his back.......

Looks like I missed a spot

What? His shoulders were already red. I was trying to even everything out!

Good thing he knew what he was getting himself into when he married me. He wasn't too mad :)

My new do

I posted a belly shot for facebook and thought I'd share. Not bare belly, that's only for you guys :) I colored my hair today for the first time in 4 months which is the longest I've gone in 12 years! It feels so good. I also got out the wax machine and waxed my brows and stache....haha niiiice.

We're very excited for the week ahead as we find out Thursday morning what we're having! I will post right away.

19 weeks!

Almost half way! We find out next Thursday what we're having. I cannot wait!!

Want to hear a good Richie story? Of course you do.

So last night I showed him my belly. He looks at it with HUGE eyes and says. "Did you hear about the woman that gave birth to a 19 pound baby?"

Me: Yes (Not sure where this is heading)

Richie: That could be you!!

Me: blank stare

Richie: Well, you're only half way there, and look at it!

Me: Gee, thanks babe, you always know just the right words to say???

So much better

These last 3 days have been wonderful with Philip. I think having him in his own home with daddy here every night has really made a difference. I haven't had to discipline him once in the last 3 days!

He had a high fever the other night that went away so I am wondering if his 2 year molars are coming in. When I asked him where it hurt, he pointed in his mouth.

I have even decided not to have him to go to my mom's and sisters next week. As tempting as it sounds, I think what he really needs right now is to get on a schedule at home. And although I know I would LOVE my alone time for a few days, I have a feeling we'd have to start all over again when he got back.

Oh the sacrifices we make for our kids :)

He's been sleeping really well too. I don't know how Richie does it but he can get him to fall asleep within minutes, when it takes me hours. He had the same touch when Philip was a baby. Richie had to live in Kansas from the time Philip was 4 months until 7 months and he would drive home every weekend (8 hours) to be with us for about 36 hours before he had to turn around and drive back. Anyway, Philip would be a mess all week, sleeping all day and up all night and I was working two jobs then. Needless to say it was miserable. But then Richie would come home for 2 nights and Philip would sleep all through the night. He just needs his daddy!

A new day

Thank you all for your words of encouragement over the last few days. They've really helped. Prayer is such a an amazing thing. I woke up this morning feeling peaceful and hopeful and we have had a wonderful day. He is like a different child (knock on wood).

Richie came home last night, took one look at me and said "I think mama needs some alone time." He is really good about stuff like that. He has been going to bed early every night since he has to wake up at 4am so him and Philip have been going down at the same time which has been really nice! He is such a good dad and husband. I am going to go ENJOY my little boy now!

Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Truth is I am done pretending

Generally when I have a bad day, I vent about it, spend more time with God, get a good work out, wake up the next day and feel great.

Today was different. I woke up this morning with a very heavy heart. Heavier than yesterday. I woke up really sad. That never happens. I am one of those annoyingly positive people that don't like to be around negativity. I don't usually have a lot of compassion for overall negative people and I don't understand them. If my mood starts to turn negative, I can generally turn my thoughts to something good and get out of it quickly. Not this time.

I think it's a combination of people around me hurting, Philip being more difficult than I can even put into words, Richie working so much and oh yeah.. pregnancy hormones. I forgot about those. I wonder... is it Philip feeding off of my mood or is it me being in this kind of mood because he put me here? Whatever the case, I desperately want to get out of it.

My mom and sister offered to take him for a few days next week and initially I said no but they are insisting and quite frankly I need it. I've never done this before but I think it will be really good. They said "I know you'll miss him"...ha....we'll see about that :)

I know that this too shall pass and in the meantime I am going to use it as another opportunity to lean on God for his support because I know I can't do it alone.

Really hoping my next post will be a more positive one. Thanks for putting up with a Debbie Downer but this feels really good not to hold it in anymore.


I will lift my eyes to the maker, of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to calmer, of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the healer, of the hurt I hold inside

Bebo Norman-I Will Lift My Eyes

This child of mine

I don't even know how to explain the point that I am at with Philip. He has exhausted me more than I ever thought possible. For a while I just thought he was being a normal toddler but the older he's getting, the more challenging he is getting and I don't know what to do.

He bites me, pulls my hair, scratches me, etc. He seems so angry but I have no idea why? Being away from home for a month made things a lot worse so I am hoping they will get better soon. I literally count the hours until Richie gets home so that I can have a break from him and I hate that it's like that. If I was a person who cries when they are mad, I am pretty sure I'd be in tears more than half of the day when I am alone with him.

I know part of the problem is that I've been treating him the same way I did when he was a baby. If he cries, I jump to fix it, if he's frustrated, I jump to fix it. He was such a good baby but now that I'm still treating him like that, he's become spoiled . I'm working on that. Another part is that he won't nap anymore so he gets overtired. I just don't know what to do. I get comments from people and looks from people and I just want to scream.

He is fantastic for Richie so that's good. He's actually really good for anybody else too (when I'm not around). He goes to the Y all the time and they think he is such a good boy so I just let them keep thinking that :) Any advice from you moms who have kids who have been through this before would be really encouraging. I need something. I could really use a glass of wine right about now! *Sigh*